time for a tender heart

This last week we had yet another tragic loss. My mothers cousin died in a horrible accident. I think that my emotions have been on overload with the also recent loss of Dan's grandfather. I have always had such emotions come over me when people pass away. At Grandpa's funeral I kept pondering what was he like when he was 30 or 18...he felt love for a spouse as deeply as I. He loved his children like any parent does. He was young, ran, rode a bike and laughed much. But when I met him he had already endured a couple of strokes and spoke few words. Which makes my mind ponder all the more what he was like when you could see him living life beyond his disabilities. I saw many pictures at the funeral of young and old...my heart simply fell tender.
In the recent loss on my side of the family it hit yet another tender spot. My cousin was only 54. He had just had a conversation with my uncle, not even two weeks prior about how he and his wife were beginning to feel like they could move into the next phase of their lives..that their children were all out on there own. It was time to begin to grow old with one another. oh, the grief that fills my heart. With the death of this cousin, it hits a second emotion for me. I have always loved the fact that my family came from Hawaii. This branch of the family seemed to have still such a way of carrying on heritage and tradition. I can't recall a time that we got together with them and didn't have hula dancing or conversations that surrounded life in Hawaii. My grandmother and all of her siblings have all passed away in the last 8 years. The passing of that generation was difficult in itself, but we wouldn't be here, had they not moved to the mainland. Each person that passes from this part of my family only makes me feel the years and distance from the family heritage. My heart breaks when I wonder what my grand kids will know of about Hawaii. I guess it should teach me to retain more from my history and pass it along the generations. I will be calling on my Uncle Pug soon...as he seems to have done a fabulous job at researching and keeping our history. In times like these it really makes me stop and remember and take time to appreciate the things and people I have in my life. I am thankful that God gave me a heart that is tender...but oh the pain...in times like this.